To Be or Not to Be
by themysteryofjade
Summary: What if the boy you cared about possibly didn't want you anymore? What if he has been your best friend for the past 4 years? Everything's crazy when she's in another 'world' and they're together. will Grace accept this or fight against what's meant to be?
1. Chapter 1 surreal dreams

We had been friends for far too long probably about for four years now. I felt like maybe just maybe we had a slight chance. I wanted to know him better not as a friend but as a guy. He has asked me countless times if we were to ever date or even go out. I always- always told him we would and soon. I told him that we should get to know each other better, date, and then we would see. Time passed and I regretted my decision. Maybe it was my longing for him, or attention, or maybe it was the lust. I had been with my best friend before about one or two years ago. It was out of boredom and demand- if only I'd appreciated the moment even more I was a rather territorial person. Yes, I wished him happiness but at the moment he had no one. No girl panting over him. (Thank God) I saw him as mine but since I'd been working on my territorial issues I didn't feel like he belonged to me; and it scared me. His infectious laughter, playful jokes, amusing brown eyes, feather light touch, and of course his deep voice were the things that I mostly missed. He was after all my friend the friend I slept with long ago; the only boy I trusted and yet he knew my darkest deepest secret. I remembered long ago we spoke on the phone for fours at the time. And I asked him what his secret was and he told me. I was more shocked at his trust than his confession to be honest. Since that day I felt closer to him than ever. Keith, my sweet, playful, annoying, friendly Keith. He seemed so distant from me now it pained me. I sighed and bit my lower lip. If only I knew or had some clue that he still cared that he still wanted me and I'd be happy. Damn, I'd even ask him to be my boyfriend if he was still up for it.

But did we even stand a chance together? Would it even last?...

I felt it wouldn't simply because of my insecurity and territorial issues and he was the partying playful type.

So what should I do now? I asked myself.

I gazed at my friend Maritza. I had known her for about four years also. I was happy that she was with her love. The boy she'd wanted to be with since freshmen year. I had to admit all my friends were beautiful- literally. All of them were good looking in their own way. I simply gazed at my phone. I looked back at my best friend's reaction, the boy I yearned to be with. I'd give up as of today. Why? Simply because I knew- deep down with my gut that he didn't want me anymore. He was through begging me after all these years. Somehow, I knew it would never be the same besides I asked the 8 ball (a telling the future ball) and it answered me that 'yes, definitely' he'd get bored of me soon. I sighed in defeat, laid back on the bar of the bleachers, and closed my eyes. Gray dots dance in the darkness of my closed eyelids. I let the buzzing of voices around me fill my ears and I fell deep into unconsciousness.

When I awoke I was in Keith's arms. I was in shock thinking and breaking my skull, "This isn't happening. I'm dreaming." I told myself. He shifted around and awoke. It was all too good to be true. I was sure that a minute ago I was in the gym with my friends and of course defeated… "What's going on?" I asked him still laying securely across his chest in his arms. He smiled dreamily at me his eyes held mine and I saw genuine love there. "What do you mean?" he asked kissing my lips. I was in heaven I was sure then that maybe I died or something remotely close to it. "Honey, are you okay?" He asked gain. Yep, I was either dead or dreaming. "Um… uh… no.. well… y-yes. I don't know." I said finishing my incoherent sentence. He smiled a cocky smile. "I know what you need." He whispered huskily to my ear. My eyes widened as he started laying me down gently on the bed and nibbling my earlobe. "I.. I think I have to t go to the restroom." I said before quickly rushing out the room. Where was the restroom anyway? "Um.. Honey the restroom is in here you know." He stated watching me re-enter the room blushing and looking at where he was pointing to with an amused expression.

I quickly locked myself in there and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked the same: brown skin, dark long brown hair that almost looked black, dark brown eyes, and slightly plumped limps. I felt the same: nervous, confused, and quite in a panic. Wait a minute… I told myself as I gazed at my left hand. There on my fourth finger was a silver ring. I was hyperventilating this wasn't real I told myself. This wasn't happening at all. Was it?

"Babe… you aren't having morning sickness yet are you? The doctor said it'd be another few more weeks 'til you did." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked even though I knew exactly what he was talking about. My breathing became irregular and I felt light headed.

I was not pregnant…

I heard footsteps getting closer to the door and I thought 'I'm going to faint soon if not at least wake up.' "Wake up." I told myself. I could hear his voice calling me but it sounded distant- far away. I felt like I couldn't breathe much less move or answer him. Everything blurred and then all I saw was pitch black before I felt myself fall. I woke up once again to a pair of brown eyes gazing at me worriedly. "Hey you, you sort of gave me a scare back there. Are you okay?" he asked- again. "I' m fine." I think. That's when I noticed that I was tucked away into the bed and h laid there next to me wearing only his striped blue boxers. He still looked worried; "Maybe I should call Dr. Campbell?" He asked while touching my forehead lightly. I still felt confused as to how this was all happening. I mean, I was happy I would be happy if this were real but somehow I knew it wasn't and I couldn't let myself fall into this fantasy which I'd probably wake up from. He tucked himself next to me and had his head on my shoulder. His hand lightly brushed my stomach and I felt goose bumps. He didn't know the effect he had on me.

"I should take you to the doctor- maybe something is wrong with the baby." I didn't realize I spoke until I heard myself say, "Honey, don't worry everything's fine must be the nerves." He sighed in relief and nuzzled my neck, "There's nothing to worry about, love. And well you know… I missed you." He whispered. My breathing hitched."I'm right here silly." I said. "Yes, but…" "But?" I asked. He kissed my ear, neck, and my jaw. Okay… whether this is a dream or not I am getting rather moody. He smirked gazing at me. "Men." I said. "Men? I'm the only man in your life, right?" He asked all sense of playfulness gone. "Yes." I said before attacking him. He answered my kiss eagerly and wrapped his arms around me. 'The hell with it even if it is a dream.' I thought. His hands wandered aimlessly lightly touching my waist traveling down my hip then my leg. He wrapped my leg around his hip and he eased himself in to me gently. I felt complete and warm. I held him and pulled him closer to me if that's possible. I couldn't get enough of him. He was after all even in this dream a person I so dearly loved. I teased him lightly grazing his earlobe with my lips before lightly pausing a few seconds before his neck. He seemed to know what I was doing and was quite a bit agitated. He decided to play along- the bastard. He stopped the rhythm of our bodies and I was so close yet not close enough. I "humped" at him and he laughed his body shaking with laughter. "Come here." I ordered and he complied willingly. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him to me. He let me and he kissed me tenderly leaving feather light kisses on my lips, nose, cheeks, neck, and collarbone and further down… I felt like I was instantly on fire. He started slowly moving again and he wasn't fast enough. "So close." I whispered huskily without meaning to. "Really?" He whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes to see him smirking, I blushed, "No." I lied.

And then all too soon I was back in the gym with the phone in my hand. I stared around me dazed. Then suddenly as I had come back to reality or whatever it was everything came crashing down on me. Did he even want me anymore? Tears filled my eyes but I refused to cry and then my phone buzzed.


	2. Chapter 2 what now?

All too soon my phone buzzed and I felt scared to even peek at it. I let it drop to my knees and I felt my heart pounding and soon I felt nauseated, too. I suddenly remembered that in that 'dream' I was expecting um… a baby and I panicked and practically ran from my phone and the bleachers to the restroom to puke my guts out. I heaved and laid on the floor breathing heavily and thinking if this was how morning sickness felt like I had no desire to even have, conceive, or bear a child soon. The door to the restroom opened and I stayed silent wishing for whoever it was to go away. I sighed frustrated if only Keith would come out and tell me if he just didn't want me anymore. Soon I was so angry at him for not even texting me at all this week or the last. I was done waiting and moping or anything.

"Grace?" A familiar voice called, "Grace?" she asked again. I moaned I felt nauseated again I guess there goes my attempt at being angry down the drain- literally. Ugh… My head was pounding now with such ferocity that it stung madly. "Maritza?" I whispered and then she was there opening the restroom door and gazed at me. "Are you okay?" She asked then kneeled down before me. "Do you need any help?" I shook my head and yawned. I needed to rest.

"Well I just came by to give you your phone whoever it is that's texting you sure is impatient or urgent or whatever. Look you have over ten messages. "How long have I been in here?" I thought I asked myself this question but apparently I said it out loud, "Oh I don't know for the past forty five minutes." She said eyeing me. "Grace you know I'd never ask but…." She scratched the back of her neck, "are you- are you pregnant?" I stared at her wide-eyed. "No! Are you crazy?" I told her and then as if contradicting me I got another new message. "Fine." I grumbled "I'm coming, I'm coming no need to be impatient. My phone as if wanting to tick me off then rang. "What?!" I screamed as I answered.

"Woah did I catch you at a bad time?" An amusing voice said.

"Keith?" I asked

"Yep same one unless you met another guy named Keith." HE paused as if reconsidering what he said "Did you?" I just stared at the phone then back at Maritza waving her off, "Did I what?" I asked.

"Did you meet another guy named Keith?" I just rolled my eyes.

"Actually I did he's really nice and he's funny too you should meet him I'm sure you two would hit it right off." I said.

"Grace-" I cut him off.

"Keith-" He cut me off, too.

"Grace." He said sounding kind of hurt, "I don't want to meet a guy that's apparently got you all into him." He sighed and I could almost see his hand over his hair.

"Keith I was joking I don't know any other guy named Keith apart from you." I whispered.

"Oh." He said then sighed in relief, "I just thought-well okay. So how are you?"

"Me?" I asked and thought over the weird dreams I've been having.

"I'm fine." I said a little to quickly.

"Look Grace I called because um- I can't wait anymore Grace I'm tired of waiting I miss you and honestly I um- how do I say this I _need _you. So can you just stop torturing me and just be my girl already?" I let the phone drop to the floor and I just sat there on the floor thinking. _What the hell just happened? is this- is this some dream, too? _

Hey guys its Serenity your favorite writer who apparently forgot' bout u guys nah I'm kidding I just got writers block. I know it took me long. I started this story because well it was inspired by something real in my life but it didn't go the way I wanted it to. So this story I'm letting flow on some other direction it ain't no Edward or bella but hopefully close enough who knows I may surprise you and add a little supernatural in it.

If u want to read some other stories of mine look for themysteryofjade that's my author thing.


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